I wrote this copy for a brochure we had to do in real estate tech class
_____________
Discount Roofless Homes
“It Ain’t Got No &#$%!* Roof!”
What if I told you that 99% of all developers needlessly flush thousands of dollars down the toilet with every project? What if I told you that you could virtually save money in the construction of your next dream home? Now you can with Discount Roofless Homes! Did you know that a lot of the money that goes into building a home is wasted on the ceiling and roof? That’s right! The two least essential components of a house can account for as much as a third its cost!
Now lots of whiners come up to me cryin’, “How will we stay warm and dry during those endless Pacific Northwest cold seasons? They last for ten months out of the year fer cryin’ out loud,” or “I have small children that probably shouldn’t be exposed to the elements all the time like that.” God these people make me sick! Step out of the Matrix for a sec Neo or Neil or whatever your name is, take the red pill! Think of all the waterproof blankets you will be able to afford down at the army surplus store because you were smart enough to forego having a roof put on your house. Did you know Jesus once lived in a roofless home? My good buddy Jesus from Mexico City??? And he saved all kinds of money.
Just look at our list of over six great benefits to owning a roofless home:
- People come and go by simply climbing over the wall—never deal with those mind-boggling keys and locks again!
- Finally be able to enjoy meteor showers year-round with the grandkids!
- Simplify things for police raids!
- Catch all the water that falls into your home’s footprint—now that’s good for the environment!
- Finally have that excuse you’ve always been looking for to research waterproof products!
- No roof? Duh. The concept virtually sells itself!
- …and much more!
Me? Just as soon as I recover from a particularly nasty case of pneumonia and get discharged from the Discount Roofless Hospital where of course the savings gets passed onto me, I’ll still have enough money I might have a mind to go down to Discount Roofless Ferrari and buy myself a luxurious, fine (albeit roofless) automobile.
When I park my roofless Ferrari in the garage of my roofless dream house, who’s gonna be laughing then?
![[Squidoo]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/squidoo.gif)
![[MySpace]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/myspace.gif)
![[Facebook]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/facebook.gif)
![[twitter]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/twitter.jpg)
![[MSN Spaces]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/msnspaces.bmp)
![[Delicious]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/delicious.jpg)
![[YouTube]](http://www.brokemansmoneyportal.com/youtube.gif)
1 comments:
As a Negro Conservative, I am very fond of your idea for Roofless Homes. I have lived in them before in the Southern United States and have thought them comfortable in all their squalid splendor, and economical to boot. Other Negroes of Color such as myself have enjoyed the idea of finally moving into said units en masse because it's better than the Urban Large Negro Storage Boxes that have been so taxing on our peoples. I have overcome all economic disadvantages and have worked my way up to General Manager of Church's Chicken and White-Children-Only Pinball Arcade by relying on all I've been taught by living in the roofless environment. I's and my peoples thankses you for pushing through such an ingenious and innovative solution to an emerging housing crisis.
Post a Comment